It's a pretty short post, because its late, I'm tired (I promise to press the 'publish post' button after I type this, just to keep things fresh) and I have exactly 12 more hours to decide which uni I should go to.
It's a pretty close battle. My parents are like 'it doesn't matter, whatever uni is good'. And here I am, babbling over residency, overseas-trained doctors bla bla bla.. wtf
I really do hope God guides my life on this one. It's my future we're talking about here, right? I mean, I got into 2ND YEAR MED and I'm going to f-ing rejecting it. It's like demolishing Rome that was built for years. (oh wait, someone did.. haha, nevermind, mind my weird analogies pls)
Yeah, it's sinking in. And I'm getting crazy.
The last time I thought I was crazy was when I did one year at Otago. I mean, why gamble for something that clearly tells you that you won't win? But I did and I got in. I could have easily settled in a medical university in Malaysia, with my same group of friends, with an environment not much difference than what I have in Hong Kong. Will I be as lucky this time? Again, I walk into the unknown, not knowing how my medical journey would be like.
If I had chosen Otago, it's going to be so much easier for me. Visa application, accommodation problems, etc.
Now I have flat agreements due... visa applications untouched... flight tickets not arranged.
WHY CHOICES??? WHY???
I still can't get over the fact that I'm leaving NZ.
While frantically preparing for the Kuching flight the next day, I realized I've been such a packrat. A packrat guilty of picking paper out from the bin, passing it off as "rough paper". It's not as disgusting as it seems.
But over the years, I've collected and preserved so much of those memories (even I'm surprised myself) -- an orange post-it note from some of my friends to wish me well for the JPA interview, my water bottle that got dirty during the Amazing race, and a shipload of free CDs, receipts, unused coupons, plastic bags, ribbons, strings, bank statements...
4 garbage bags worth of memories that I breathed life into in NZ, and let it die in NZ.
So this ends the chapter of New Zealand.
AND heloooooo Sydney :)
I never knew I could make it this far. From a student who did just
a bit above average, to a full-time med student :D (I know la, don't call me cocky ok...
)
Anyways, life's been great so far. A bit of a struggle with the weight problem (the luggages, not me
) on the way back and of course making sure that the offer is FULLY accepted by calling the university for the umpteenth time.
I wonder why can't it be like:
"Thank you for calling our university. You seem to have a pending offer. Press 1 to accept, press 2 to decline, press 3 to...."
Sigh.. packing again.
Again I am out of time.
Again I have too much stuff.
The world must be kicking my sorry arse for leaving it till the last minute.
To understand human behaviour frustrates me. The extremities of human behaviour can leave me touched with tears or burning with anger. No one enjoys the latter, at least the sane ones. But to have someone's actions ripping off the very last tatters of your pride and dignity, I begin to wonder if the months of investments of time and energy were worth the friendship. As if 'manners' and 'respect' mysteriously disappears from the dictionary, vanishes from the very depths of basic human ethics.
I struggle to understand this, from a person whom I least expect such atrocious behaviour, I'm utterly dumbfounded up to this day.
I thank God for the moment I stepped in in moments time before prime humiliation could have taken place. I could have done much more, but instead I turned away with a flustered face of anger. Why oh why am I so easy to give in? I have yet to find out, like a broken doll, I tell myself over and over again, it's wrong not to show your emotions.
On a happier note, holidays have been a blast. The late nights playing cards (Carol calls it the 'last moments' -.-) , foosball and snooker (I always miss or fluke, hence GN) were definitely fun, and stress free. LOL
AND eating out in Dunedin. Oooohhh, I have seriously no idea where to start, it's been awesome and expensive (but worth it :)), can't wait to return to Dunners and eat MORE. Talking about gluttony. tsk tsk
Really need to sleep now. Too lazy to do the editing and colors. Uploading a pic is already tiring in the 'holiday' context. LOL
Can you see the green thing glowing?? AArrggghhhh, it's gonna ruin my holidays :(
So here I am clearing up the notes... and the above is just Semester One.... -.-"
I'm praying that 70% of that stack is just me memorizing the bloody formulas in Chemistry, like C1V1 = C2V2
...
...
...
I just remembered that I learned this in high school, so it is pretty much a miserable to attempt to prove that my carbon emissions were worth it.
Maybe they weren't.
I swear, I'll make one heck of a blogpost for my next entry.... bloody amateurs
